2022-03-31 | going-mental

This is a public service announcement to anyone who is foolish enough to still be using Windows 10, Windows 8, Windows 7, Vista, and also Windows XP.

Your operating system is now fully compromised. and no, this isn't the same as Indian scammers trying to hold your data hostage for Google play cards or pictures of bobs and vagens or the CIA backdooring your operating system so they can spy on you, it is far worse than that.

The international hacker known as 4Chan has successfully reverse-engineered your operating system, THEY KNOW THE SOURCE CODE, they observed all of Windows XP vulnerabilities which means they know the vulnerabilities of all Windows operating systems that have come after it, because, let's face it, ever since Windows XP all Microsoft has really done is create some new themes for your desktop and add more spyware to Windows and also push out updates. and things are about to get EVEN WORSE, you thought viruses like WannaCry cause a lot of damage? that's child's play, the viruses of old were created by much less skilled hackers that didn't even have the source code of your operating system but now, Microsoft spaghetti code, it's out in the open, everybody can see it and your computer is more screwd than an unchaperoned toddler on Epstein's island during a Bill Clinton visit.

YOUR KERNEL is going down faster than a golden retriever at the ATF's headquarters.

Now, before you go in full panic mode and start freaking out, there are some solutions for you to continue using your computer.

My personal recommendation is to load up DBAN, completely remove any trace of Windows or any other proprietary bullshit operating system that came with your computer and then, install Gentoo, and use that for the rest of eternity to do your computing, if you can't figure out how to use Gentoo, then you have the option of using Linux Mint, which is another approved GNU/Linux operating system that is more noob friendly and kind of similar to Windows and the layout just minus all of the horrible bullcrap and spaghetti code that makes up Windows.

If you can't figure out how to install Linux Mint then you should just sell your computer, purchase a horse and buggy and go be amish in a field somewhere because it's no longer safe for you to have a computer or really any electronic device for that matter, hopefully, the many years of you beating off to cam girls will translate into good butter churning skills so that you can earn a living as an Amish person.

If you fail to comply, you are going to get updates forcefully pushed to your operating system which has been happening for a while now, because, let's face it, Microsoft has never even heard of the word consent, but instead of these updates coming from Microsoft themself, Bill Gates himself, they are going to be coming from the hacker known as 4chan, and you will soon experience strange behavior in your operating system.

Internet Explorer or Microsoft Edge or whatever the hell they're calling that crap these days will be replaced with Pale Moon or a similar furry browser.

Every day the wallpaper on your desktop is going to become an anime girl that is more and more lewd and vaguely underage as time goes on, all of your home videos will be replaced with forceful tentacle hentai, all of your family photos are going to be replaced with pepes that become more and more racist as time goes on.

Oh and also, your webcam will permanently live stream to live leak so watch out for Chinese truck drivers and off-duty Brazilian police officers.

Now, I don't want to hear any of your wondering "why is this happening all of the sudden oh woe ways me, why does something like this have to happen to me", no, you've been warned for years and years about the dangers of proprietary software, and yet, you did nothing.

Richard Stallman went out of his way to make speeches at college campuses, all across the world, even doing some in Spanish, so he can reach a wider audience, and going days without a proper meal, this man had to subsist on nutrients from the bottom of his foot and yet, you still did nothing.

Edward Snowden revealed that bioluminescent government agents were living in your computer watching you watch cam girls and browse old memes that washed up on the shores of Reddit, ALL under the guise of stopping terrorism, and he had to flee the united states and go live in a Russian airport bathroom, and yet, you continued on using Windows.

Purchasing a new copy every few years making Bill Gates a grillionaire in the process so he could get to his end goal of injecting Windows updates directly into the bloodstream of every person in the world, in newborn babies, and yet, you kept on using Windows, even though each new version removed more and more of your rights and became more and more bloated, but now, 4chan the hacker has taken it to the extreme, you will no longer be using your operating system.

It will use you, it will require a minimum of 2 terabytes of ram and a quantum CPU just to load up the crypto miner that's going to be required to boot your operating system.

Now alternatively, I have heard directly from the hacker known as 4chan that for one bitcoin, you can purchase a subscription of Windows XP Yotsuba edition which will have most of the restrictions removed, however, your wallpaper will still be set to a lewd vaguely underage anime girl and your browser's homepage will be permanently set to, also Microsoft Word is going to be replaced with Vim, so, good luck doing your homework on there, hopefully, you know how to quit out of it, you have been warned, now go, install Gentoo or suffer the consequences or like I said, sell all of your electronics and go be Amish because the Amish don't get computer viruses.